Define: Tool

Tool (8:55:19 AM): i got busted
Me (8:55:02 AM): busted for?!?
Tool (8:55:27 AM): rolling my motorcycle into my apartment last night
Tool (8:55:31 AM): HAHAHA

ladies and gentlemen, i'd like to announce that this Tool is working at a well-known firm in NY over the summer. I'd also like to announce at this time, that Tool is definitely going to be bringing the Firm down. Congratulations to Firm.