Because I'm Bored.

I can't study until I get food, I'm going to write 6 "weird" things about me:

1) When I eat burgers, I have to eat the veggies on its own (lettuce, tomatoes, onion). It's like me creating a side salad.

2) While I'm fluent in multiple languages, I have a "foreign" accent when I speak any one of them - including English.

2a) I don't have a hometown, per se. I moved around all my life - I guess technically, my hometown would be in Seoul, but I've only lived there 2 years of my entire life.

3) *quoted from my friend*: "sometimes when you talk to faculty you sound totally lost, even though you know what ur talking about, u dont form your sentences properly and start babling incoherently, i guess cause you're nervous." (I guess this goes back to the point of #2 - I have trouble trying to make sense in one language)

4) *quoted from so-called friend*: ur gay, thats another one. fag.

5) *quoted from so-called friend*: you tend to give people ammunition to make fun of you by saying something in a certain way and not thinking about it.

6) If I forget to bring my iPod with me, my day is terribly ruined. TERRIBLY ruined. (I need my morning ventti iced-coffee + John Coltrane or I will suffer.)

I don't know if that's weird. But whatever. Damn, food is STILL not here. Oh, this can be something weird about me - I've never had a mojito in my life until this weekend, and I gotta tell you, I'm addicted to it.

EDIT: ex called me. haven't talked to her in 2 months. everytime i talk to her, i realize what an asshole i was. she's moving to LA. i haven't seen her in a year. i want to see her.

Why Lawyers Are Hated...

Because idiots sue for $65 million for a suit pant. Please comment: should this person be sanctioned?

Highly Depressing

So...

I've been studying for the past 9 hours (less the frequent breaks I took). Studying = reading crunchtimes for my admin law and corporations class since I don't read casebooks anymore. And, my roommate comes back from work around 10:30 PM.


Please note - this is while he had full knowledge I was studying in my room for my exams.

Phase I:
Goes to his room, talks on phone.

Phase II:
Walks out to the living room, his conversation becomes louder:

"Yeah bro, I'm heading out to Arena tonight. Oh it's [hotgirl's] birthday. Make sure you come out!"

Phase III:

Walks into my room. Looks at me and smiles.

"Oh, I was going to ask if you wanted to come out, but you seem occupied. That sucks."

Roommate leaves my room.

------------------------------

I wanted to throw my highlighter at him.

6% Smarter Than Me.

I shouldn't talk to you because:

a) I'm not on Law Review

b) I'm not in the top 10% of our class.

Clearly, these are the guidelines in which YOU have established as a guideline as to who you can hang out with - those that are cool enough for you. By the way, did I fucking tell you how fuming I am from your misguided delusional statement? Did you REALLY say that you're better than X, Y, and Z because they don't rank as high as you? Did you REALLY say that Law Review people are brilliant minded students? Unfuckingbelievable.

Well I guess that since you're top 7% and I'm top 13%, you're 6% smarter than me.

PF, how the FUCK did you change like this? You made me become madly addicted to you because you weren't like all the other law students here. Yet now, you're just becoming like every one of those ranking whores.

Although I have to thank you - you have given me all motivation to work my ass off until exams end so I can place higher than you in rankings. This way, I can be at least 1% smarter than you.

P.S. Thanks for making me fume.

P.P.S. That Law Review friend that is cool to hang out with you, by the way, talked shit behind your back last year right in front of my face last year. Why do you think I hate that bitch? Yet, you won't know this for the rest of your life, because clearly, you have become just like her - all you just need is the elvis sideburns that she has.

P.P.P.S. Oh, thanks for FINALLY giving a reason to not give a shit about you anymore. Thank you - I needed this after a year of still finding myself deluding to the fact that you deserved better.

Why Now?

Her: "Hey I have awesome news."

Me: "Oh yeah? What's that?"

Her: "I'm going to **BIG CITY IN ASIA** in July to switch different groups for Bank X there!"

Me: "Wow. That's AWESOME! Congrats!!"


I have a secret to unleash. I've been sort of casually seeing this girl for the past month (ever since I went on a hiatus with manwhoring - see douchebaggery posts below). She's a banker - but not the typical banker. She's not demanding, she works hard. But her favorite hobby - sleeping. This is going to sound extremely gay, but as "our" hobby, we cuddle and take naps on the weekends (during the rare times she doesn't have to work). I went shopping with her, and I found her to be extremely adorable getting excited and jumping around after she found this dress that she loved. I admit, I liked the fact that she fussed why I didn't have a picture of us on my facebook profile, even though she doesn't have facebook - it was cute. I actually found it adorable when she would hold onto my arms. I found her to be extremely adorable when she'd wake up and whine to me for about 15 minutes telling me to kidnap her so she didn't have to go into work. I especially liked it when I would wait for her at a meeting location and her running to me and giving me the biggest hug everytime I saw her. The casual seeing mood was changing... I was actually liking this intimacy.

I admit it, I was liking this whole not-fucking-a-random-whore idea. Over the weekend, we hung out and she told me that there was a good chance she'd move abroad to switch groups - it was a huge career opportunity for her.

Now it's reality. She said she'd call me tomorrow to tell me all about it - she sounded so excited. I swear on my mother's life, this shit happens annually for me, around this time of the year. Fuck. Do I have like a anti-serious relationship magnetic force around me? Christ...

Please don't go. Please..?

What a way to motivate myself to study for finals huh...?

You tell me.

If $250 is worth it..... SIGH .......

Popped My Cherry

My first ever French rap song that got hooked onto me. Anyone care to translate this? Has an awesome beat, rhyme scheme is catchy. Only downfall, I have no clue wtf this song is about.


PS. Gluck with finals. Don't get anally penetrated like how I will in about 2 weeks.

Dangereux


Je pose du verbe sur un papier
Compose des textes et les scande, oui ma langue est déliée
Mon délit est de parler haut
Relater ce que mes consorts, n`exprimeront jamais dans un micro
Les camps sont marqués, nous sommes simples électeurs
Mais rien n`empêche d`apporter plus de terreur dans leurs erreurs
Je pensais ne même pas les affleurer,
Mais j`ai dû déjanter, quand le juge a voulu me convoquer
Ce n`était pas la première fois pour un groupe de rap
Que la censure frappe et les citations tapent
Va donc, je me suis dit, le texte est cool, y`a pas de hic
Faux, j`étais devenu l`ennemi public des Assédic
C`était clair, les hauts placés voulaient mon trophée
Un mois après ces endophés bloquaient mon dossier
Ce que le cinéma se permet, la télé,
Les livres, et les magazines pour nous c`est prohibé
Incitation à la violence
C`est comme si pour chaque meutre on inculpait Jack Palance
J`ai des problèmes de communication
Les R.G. écoutent toutes mes conversations
J`en ai des frissons et ça perturbe ma vie
Ma haine grandit chaque fois que Minute écrit
A déblatérer des mensonges malsains
Demandez à ma mère, si son fils est un assassin
Ils déclenchent ma revanche à leurs dépends
Si je pouvais vivre loin des serpents
Je croyais être un type sympa, un père exemplaire, merveilleux
Pour eux, je suis Dangereux

Si on m`avait dit qu`un jour je serais classé, fiché
Tout simplement pour avoir exprimé mes idées
Abordé des sujets jugés tabous
Mis sur papier tout ce qui se passe autour de nous
Je pensais vivre dans un pays libre, naïf
J`ai compris qu` indésirables sont les esprits non passifs
En refusant d`être un mouton, de rentrer dans le troupeau
De fermer les yeux et de tourner le dos
Au format dans lequel ils tentèretn de me faire entrer
Je me suis vu qualifié de rebelle d`une société
Hypocrite, où certains ont tant de pouvoir
Qu`en toute impunité, ils peuvent cracher sur l`Histoire
Ce noir constat m`oblige à prendre des risques
A libérer ma pensée, à devenir un journaliste
Un fugitif, un dénonciateur, un haut-parleur
Trop souvent, placé au centre du collimateur
De ceux qui se croient à l`abri de l`oeil avisé
Des gens comme moi à l`affût et qui ne laissent rien passer
La liberté d`expression vaste plaisanterie
L`écart est grand entre ce qui s`entend et ce qui est dit
J`énonce des faits bien que ça me coûte
Des photos sur des murs, des téléphones sur table d`écoute
On me reproche de crier trop fort ce que je pense
De mettre un miroir en face des gens, ça, ça les dérange
Et si le clan représente la pureté aujourd`hui
Même en plein soleil, tous les chats sont gris
Je voudrais faire le bien et rien d`autre mais pour eux
Je suis un mouton galeux, un mec Dangereux

Kim is the New Muhammed

referring to the VT killer:


cousin (8:17:36 PM): FUCK

cousin (8:17:39 PM): hope he isnt korean

cousin (8:17:47 PM): cause if he is, you know his last name is gonna be kim

cousin (8:17:54 PM): and kim is gonna be the new muhammed

cousin (8:17:59 PM): wtf dude

cousin (8:18:13 PM): asians are supposed to be calculator toting nerds

cousin (8:18:24 PM): not fuckin crazy ass serial killers!!!



I love my family.

What A Productive Day

It's flooding outside. Awesome.

To celebrate the great weather, I woke up at 11:30 AM, ordered food and watched TV until 4:30 PM, youtubbed until 6:30 PM, and now I'm finally about to start studying.

In light of the finals spirit, listed below are some marvelous pictures I found. Gluck on finals everyone! My personal favorite is the third image.

You Just Won't Understand.

낯이 익지도 않았지만 같이 마치 달콤한 연인같이 하나되는 우릴봤지. 너를 원해, 이말 전해, 나를 너무도 원하는 너만의 눈빛이 내눈에 정말너무 훤해. 이젠 눈감겨 저 달도 나를 반겨 내품에 안겨. 너를 맡겨. 그리고 말해보아 터질 것 같은 충동을 느껴. 이게 오아 또아 나를 도와지금의 나는 너무 좋아.

사랑하는 허니, 그거 아니? 내 마음 아니? 너만의 생각으로 가득차 있다는걸 너는 아니? 무엇이 그렇게 다 내 모습 어디가 네 맘에 그렇게나 모두가 맘에 안드나? 나는 너무 절대로 허무하지도 가지도 않게 할수도 있어. 이제는 마음으 눈을 감아. 아마 너무나 큰 감격에 그런기쁨에 그래 나는 너무나 만족해.

An American Society

What kind of society do we live in when we base our professional worthiness around our appeal to women who prostitute themselves so shamelessly? (See, e.g., PE > Hedge Fund > Surgeons > Biglaw > Consultants > etc.)

Fat Bastard

Did I really just get convinced by my friend to actually journey through the Upper East and back down to Murray Hill to find a Popeye's? Did I really order a 12 piece family meal between the two of us?

Wow. I'm a fat bastard.

Food.. coma...

On a side note, how depressed could you have been to do this?

I don't need to tell you this but.

Thank you. For being a genuine friend.

What you sent me earlier made me think about myself in ways I didn't since I came to law school.

Why I Hate Myself

I hate being insecure.

I hate being weak.

I hate being a girl about certain things.

I hate being sensitive.

I hate overanalyzing simple things.

I hate failing....






And I REALLY hate the fact that I can't get over you.


Tomorrow's going to REALLY suck.

Knicks are truly incompetent.

Got to be on courtside (well 3 rows behind courtside) today at the Garden. I laugh at the Knicks (playing against Chauncey and the Pistons)- they're truly incompetent. It's funny seeing a NY sports team be truly shitty, starting from the management down. Giving away two first round picks for the truly talented Eddie Curry [insert sarcastic tone somewhere around here] was a smart move. Bringing in Steve Francis (to substantially fuck your salary situation), trading away for Jalen Rose (to incredibly fuck the Knicks organization), and acquiring Stephon Marbury (this was the beginning of the fuck-up era of NY Knicks) was a job well done Mr. Thomas.

When I first moved to NY, I was so happy that a NY team could be so shitty - I hate the Yanks, Rangers, Giants (I'm so glad that the lil bitch called Eli Manning is a useless hick), and the Knicks. I do like the Mets however. Anyways, back to the point, I was so fucking entertained that the NY sports fan could shut the fuck up about at least one sport - basketball, since the Knicks are truly a failure. Now, after a year of watching the Knicks play, I'm just purely frustrated - it's like seeing a GM, Ford, or DaimlerChrysler (soon to be Chrysler) trying hopelessly to resurrect the past. It fucking pisses me off that Larry Brown was taken the entire blame (are you fucking kidding me?) and thereafter, the fuckhead (read: Isiah Thomas) that pulled in Steve Francis, Stephon Marbury, Eddie Curry, and Channing Frye decided to make himself the new head coach. Way to go Isiah. After a year, you still think it was Larry Brown's fault?

Oh well. At least I got to see the Ewing and his protege on the opposite end of the Court (Big Black Guy in Red - Patrick Ewing, Random Black Mistress - unknown, Young Big Black Guy in White - Patrick Ewing, Jr.):

Psycho Bitch

Congratulations to myself. I have officially entered into a new phase of my life, called the "run-down" phase. This weekend was good and bad. Let me start off with the bad side.


Girl from my hometown wanted to come up (herein referred to as "Psycho Bitch"). Psycho Bitch asked me on Thursday night if she could come up for the weekend. Me, knowing full well her scandalous attitude, of course, had to contemplate. Now you may wonder why I had to contemplate, when naturally, a girl asks if she can stay with you for the weekend. Well, I don't call her a Psycho Bitch for no reason.


Question: Why is she a Psycho Bitch?
Answer: I've known Psycho Bitch for a while. And we were never close. But the slight closeness we had, I've known that she wasn't "normal". She was highly suicidal at one point, in which she discussed writing this as an admissions essay to Undergrad, and I know that some screw is loose inside her brian.


Question: So why the FUCK would you let her come up?
Answer: Have you ever met a naturally endowed ASIAN girl with the breast size of a DD? Thought so.



So, getting back to my point - after weighing the benefits and the disadvantages, I thought I could take listening into Psycho Bitch talk in return for... *cough cough*. Yet, Psycho Bitch suceeded. I found out that it isn't one screw that's loose in her head, but I think she may be missing an entire lobe. Some examples: I don't mind paying for dinner, etc, but when I do, at least say THANKS or OFFER TO PAY when the check comes out - DON'T JUST FUCKING STARE AT THE CHECK AND SEE ME TAKE IT. Second - OFFER TO PAY FOR CAB RIDES YOU FUCKING PSYCHO BITCH. Third - you're a GUEST, remember that. Yes, my roommate and I don't live in the nicest apartment in Manhattan, and it's a walk-up, but DO NOT HAVE THE BALLS TO FUCKING BITCH ABOUT OUR PLACE.


This is just common etiquette, something that Psycho Bitch apparently did not learn. One of the things that truly annoys me is the lack of common courtesy/respect. Call me a hypocrite for objectifying women (if you're confused, read posts below), but at least I have a sense of decency and respect. But to TOP IT OFF, this is the kind of SHIT I had to listen to last night, that just wanted me to hurry up and pack her shit and never talk to her for the rest of my life. Psycho Bitch was on the phone, and these were the words coming out from her mouth: "Listen, I'm going to be making so much money, so you better treat me with respect", "I'm as good as it gets from [Hometown]" (note: besides her body which I do credit her for, her face looks like it got slammed/sandwiched against a wall - I really wish I could show the pic but I don't wanna out). So not only does Psycho Bitch have a lack of common courtesy, she has a self-guided, delusional state of arrogance. Combine these two things for a weekend, and trust me, you'd want to fucking stab her.



After those two things combined, I didn't even see her body as attractive. I just wanted her to leave. Thinking of which, I did block her from my AIM, but does anybody know if she'll know that I blocked her on facebook (i.e. Does Facebook notify her that I don't want to be associated with her for the rest of my life)?



Oh, another bad side over the weekend - a bunch of us were doing lines last night before heading out to a club. Right before we were about to go in, my roommate started sweating profusely. He had to catch a cab back home. I thought that he was od-ing, and the last thing I wanted to deal with was having to go to the ER because one of my closest friends OD-ed from coke. Thankfully, he e-mails us at the club saying he's ok.



So, you wonder, after all this BITCHING, what was the good side that came out from this weekend? I met this awesome girl last night at the club. Well, we were blowing beforehand, and went in the same group at the club. But after I left Psycho Bitch to wonder off and please let her be some other guy's problem, I took it upon myself to make sure I don't think about Psycho Bitch for the 4 hours I'm at the club.



Anyways, the group that we were in were all dancing and what not, and I saw her just casually sitting, so I sat down and started drinking and talking to her. Ok, I may be just biased, but as soon as she said she's from California (bonus points), and she lives in LA doing choreography (AWESOME), I could not help myself from being attracted to her. Like literally, it was just cool conversation we were having - she even *GASP* asked me what I do, and I told her a fair warning that she wouldn't be interested in what I do. She told me to tell her regarldless, and she seemed actually INTERESTED. We talked, drank a bit more, made fun of our friends in the corner section on top of the tables dancing while trying not to fall. And then she asked me if I wanted to dance with her:



Her: "Hey X, let's go dance?"
Me: "You're a choreographer. I'm a law student. Do you honestly think that you would remotely enjoy doing that?"



She laughed and thereafter grabbed my hand and we started dancing, but my god, I felt so fucking inferior. Dancing really isn't my *skill*, per se, and here I was, trying to hang in with a fucking choreographer. Anyways, it's pretty funny because I was honestly myself and we were both laughing the entire time. Sad thing is she had to catch a flight back to LA at 7 AM, so this thing was going to stop soon.



I had a blast, and surprisingly, I didn't even think about how she would be like in bed *SURPRISE*, despite the fact that she had the most killer abs I have ever seen - trust me on this one. Despite the fact that this blonde chick was grinding on me, I didn't think about what move I need to pull off to do a quickie before she goes back to LA (contradicting what my lower body was urging me to do). And to top it off, we start hooking up with each other - you know, this was HONESTLY the second time I was conscious of whether or not I was a "good kisser". Yet, not once did it trigger my mind that I had the duty to take her back home with me.



I was sad that she had to leave. Said bye to her, exchanged #s, knowing full well we probably would never talk/see each other ever again. But to that girl, thank you for making me realize what I've been doing wrong for the past 3 months.



FYI, if she's an accurate depiction of what LA girls are like, I'm finding my wife there. I know for a fact that there's a reader of this blog used to live in LA - prepared to answer this question for me in the near future.

wow.

I'm definitely going to hell.

Why I love AutoAdmit/xoxohth So Much

I HEART XOXO at times. The last reply is awesome.


Date: April 3rd, 2007 11:01 AM
Author: Milk Was a Bad Choice

For those who have been through the process - apart from the law school you attend - what do firms Look for in a 1L Summer Associate? How important is Work Experience? Does it need to be law related? Would advancement in some random non-law area be any sort of plus?

---------------------------------------

Date: April 3rd, 2007 11:05 AM
Author: Dogshit

DSLs.

--------------------------------------

Date: April 3rd, 2007 11:06 AM
Author: Brittan Heller's misguided sense of entitlement

the blackness of your skin is an important factor.

-------------------------------------

OMFG

3 Posts in one day. Record.

I had to post this.

Me (2:06:32 AM): do you like pete yorn
Girl (2:08:40 AM): who's pete yorn?

I don't want to sound judgmental, but when someone's music collection is limited to that of what's played on shit clubs and shit radio stations with teeny bopper songs that whenever I listen to, I puke at, it says something about that person. [this sentence was intentionally a run-on].

ok, gnite.

Now that I've Come Clean

I'm fully aware of the level of douchiness from the entry below... and trust me, I don't know what my issue is. Insecurity perhaps? SUGGESTIONS ARE GLADLY WELCOME

Below is an IM convo with Friend and I think what he's getting at is relatively true... but I don't think there's a solution to this problem... yet. The problem comes with the fact that I don't have any friends at law school. And I have absolutely no1 to hang out with if I don't go out with my banking friends. If I don't go out with my banking friends, then I'd be fucking miserable at home on a weekend in NYC - I'd kill myself...

Me (10:21:28 PM): i think i know what the problem is
Friend (10:23:30 PM): oh yeah?
Friend (10:23:34 PM): what is it?
Friend (10:23:45 PM): do you feel like you can't/don't want to really love anybody?
Me (10:21:50 PM): i wanna go out
Me (10:21:55 PM): on weekends
Me (10:21:57 PM): and have fun
Me (10:22:04 PM): and the only people im close with here
Me (10:22:11 PM): already have a defined fun
Friend (10:24:28 PM): well, usually my definition of fun borders on criminal
Me (10:23:02 PM): the problem with that is
Me (10:23:08 PM): when i do that every weekend
Me (10:23:18 PM): i come to think that this is what fun really is
Friend (10:26:25 PM): is it fun?
Me (10:24:39 PM): i dont know
Me (10:24:42 PM): i shouldnt complain
Friend (10:26:40 PM): it is certainly a different world from what you have experienced, i am ssure
Me (10:24:49 PM): free booze
Me (10:24:57 PM): hot girls
Me (10:25:03 PM): i shouldnt complain right?
Friend (10:27:11 PM): well... it goes back to what you want
Me (10:25:16 PM): but this is the same exact shit that i looked down at
Me (10:25:26 PM): when i first moved to ny
Friend (10:27:25 PM): why did you look down at it?
Me (10:26:31 PM): its superficial
Me (10:26:32 PM): meaningless
Me (10:26:50 PM): and guys with uniform dress (blazer is a must)
Friend (10:28:51 PM): so, is it still superficial and meaningless, or have you just come to accept that?
Me (10:27:04 PM): when im there its fun
Me (10:27:07 PM): always the next morning
Me (10:27:14 PM): i tell myself this is fucking retarded
Me (10:27:18 PM): wtf am i doing
Me (10:27:32 PM): but then again, i dont wanna be in nyc staying home on a fucking weekend
Me (10:27:45 PM): and you know as well that i dont have law school friends
Friend (10:29:48 PM): haha
Friend (10:29:57 PM): well, staying in while living in NYC would suck
Me (10:28:13 PM): tell me bout it
Friend (10:30:13 PM): but, you make this sound like a cycle of self-loathing
Me (10:28:23 PM): explain
Friend (10:30:59 PM): well, you go out on friday or saturday, are intoxicating by the novelty/adventure of it all, wake up in the morning and feel like the douche-bag you used to make fun of and never want to become

Bored + I am a Huge Douchebag Now

I'm really bored right now. Pretty lethargic. This weekend was pretty nuts. My friends back from my hometown came up for the weekend, and my college friends came to the city to hang out. Friday night, went to 230 Fifth and got pretty hammered, before heading down to some overrated mexican cuisine place that justifies its price by having some fancy pink sign outside.

Last night, I affirmed the fact that NY girls love being pampered and feel that they're "special". I'm not going to lie, I love being pampered and I admit it, but girls typically go along the lines of "oh, I'm not like that." Last night was an example of clear utter bullshit of such answer - of course, conditioned upon the fact that these girls were probably superficial to begin with.

I went to a "prime" club last night since one of my friends is the stereotypical "models + bottles banker". In fact, he goes so much that he just calls one of the promoters to come get him while we're waiting outside, and we walk straight into the "VIP" section drinking on bottles provided by the club - i.e. cost efficient from a consumer's perspective.

Now let me say something - it's a great feeling to get pampered. I like it. I'm not going to lie.

Anyways, after having about 3 bottles, I went to the outskirts of the section and "shopped" through the women around. By the way, girls in NY are too gorgeous in comparison to any American cities. After losing any remote inhibitions I had, I tried to invite girls up to our section to join us in our festivity. The conversation went somewhere along the lines of this, all in yelling tone to override the fucking loud music of course.

Me: hey, how're you ladies doing tonight?

Girls: good.

Me: my name is X... (puts hand out)

Girls: my name is X.. (shakes hand)

Me: ok, well anyways, I'm wondering if you guys wanted some drinks with me and a couple of friends.

The representative of the girls ("Rep"): well that depends, where are you sitting?

Me: (points to the section where we're sitting)

Rep: (looks to the girls, nods head). Sure why not?

The night went on awesome. I then realized my love for superficial easy skanks at this point. They're gorgeous and easy. They want to have fun. Not once did we discuss what we do. We drank. We danced (and other stuff). We had fun.

I've come to realize that the NY culture has consumed me. I walk by everyday around amazing cars, amazing highrise apartments, and the wealth. I've come to accept that $ does buy happiness. I've come to learn that true love perhaps doesn't exist - true love is a fictionally created concept, but in reality, true love occurs because the girl falls in love with the lifestyle that the husband can afford to her.

It's pretty funny because I could've sworn to myself that I would never become a guy like this, and here I am, admitting this entire fact. I wonder if my old self will every resurrect again.

EDIT: i do have serious issues lately. i don't know where it's originating from. Friend is giving me a serious guilt trip... and I'm glad that I can confide to him about this issue I have.... I think i need to get the fuck out of NY for a bit.